Top Five Bizarre Transfer Rumours

1. Samuel ETO'O (Barcelona > Mallorca)Mallorca, having lost Daniel Güiza to Fenerbahçe, could use a striker to operate along with Keita, Webó and Arango. Who better than want-away Barcelona star Samuel Eto'o? The island club's new moneyman, Paul Davidson, was asked if there was a possibility of the Cameroonian returning to the islands: after being quietly told who Eto'o was, his response was non-commital. Could Eto'o go "home" to Palma de Mallorca to enjoy the untold riches within?
2. Rafael VAN DER VAART (Hamburger SV > Real Madrid)On the face of it this isn't a surprising transfer at all, but the fee mentioned most certainly is. Reports have it that the merengues bid just six million euros for one of the Bundesliga's brightest stars. HSV are more apt to seek around 20 million. Rumours persist as to the player's contract including a rather cheap get-out clause, though
.3. Andrei ARSHAVIN (Zenit > Fiorentina)While Fiorentina are worthy Champions League contenders, one surely would not place them in the small group of Italian clubs who are willing and able to splash out around 27 million euros for the Zenit ace, especially as it seems less and less likely that Adrian Mutu is going to Roma. Wishful thinking on the part of the player's agent, perhaps.
4. Claudio PIZARRO (Chelsea > Real Betis)Betis occasionally pull a top-drawer signing off, but the perennial underachievers of the Liga seem unlikely to do so at present, what with president Ruiz de Lopera's court cases and a general lack of funds floating around Seville. That's what makes it all the more surprising that Chelsea outcast Claudio Pizarro is apparently top of their shopping list. Again, this seems to be mere wishful thinking.
5. Samuel ETO'O (Barcelona > Real Madrid)Eto'o makes his second appearance in the list, and a very different one at that. Madrid could surely offer Eto'o the kind of wages and environment that he'd be suited to after Barcelona, but... well, think about it. A player with such a chequered history among the more rabid Bernabéu fans, who would necessitate breaking the entente between presidents Laporta and Calderón: it all seems very unlikely. Txiki Begiristain thinks so: the Barcelona director said that Madrid would need to pay the entire release clause for Eto'o - fully €150m!Special Mention: Samuel ETO'O (Barcelona > Kuruvchi)Everyone's "favourite" Uzbekistani team are still holding out hopes of securing the Cameroonian on a short-term deal to aid their Asian Champions League challenge. If it was ever going to happen it would have done so by now. The ultimate case of wishful thinking: for all the club's wealth, attracting Eto'o eastwards is just too far out there.